The smell of the tobacco
still lingers in my room
The citrus flavour scent
is what she left behind
The gloss on my neck
reminds me of the intensity
The scratches on my back
made it seems more real

You stole the night I can't recall
You pleased my needs within these walls
You looked at me and pierced right through
Broke my confidence and left it shattered
I felt you flowing deep within me
Brought me to a plane I couldn't explain

*baby.. if you're reading this , it's a 'vampire' fantasy thinggy.. ahahha.. i know it's lame.. ahaha..

...

My mind is encased in an envelope of fear
Which suffocate myself in this dark abyss
I am still whimpering like a lost child in need
But already feeling tired of walking aimlessly in circles
I looked around for a sparkle or a shine
Begging the heavens for a dollar or a dime
I extended my arms and closed my eyes
Accepted my fate without even knowing
That moment came and I saw all my blissful hope end
You came as a curse not as a godsend

- Again -

I can see the scars deep within..
Feeding on the vengeance left behind ages ago...
The sorrows slowly crawling back to the surface..
Eating off what's left of my feelings and emotions..
Cuts don't bleed like it used to be..
Sadness is amplified with my current state of loneliness..
I part away your honest attachment in the form of betrayal..
I loathe myself for trusting your endless lies..
I start to wonder why I waited till it repeats again
I was drowned in this same pool of confusion before
Little by little , moments by moments that passes by
A little crimson , a little grey , a little of total blackness
It fills up and overflows my capacity to accept it all

Here I am... going through it... again and... again...

....

I'm the void in your eyes

I'm the abyss deep within

I'm the shadow below the moonless night

I'm the darkness from the blackness of my soul

Leave me be...

- memories -

certain memories are like thorns to me
sharper than any given sword
it brings down the heaven to it's knees
blackening the brightest stars above
reducing hope to mere dust
tore me with the sharpest pain
slowed down my beating heart
brought the storm to my calm mind
permanently imprinted
eternally remembered

it sets my body on fire
burns me through the coldest nights
these dark flames hurts me from the inside
where my feelings and love resides
counting the hour , minutes and seconds
little by little i'm wasting away
as hopes and promises fades into the shadows
hiding behind these walls of emptiness
a void that swallowed the dreamer's dreams
left a view that's not as beautiful as it seems

- Shadow Dreamer -

- Shadow Dreamer -

Being alone in the dark under this moonless night ,

I have nothing except these tarnished thoughts

The lost attachments that I no longer can feel

Dreams that fell apart before anything is built

I’m at last a shadow dreamer

Something I thought I would never be

By myself , vivid daydreams break me down

All the emotions in me is now just another noun

May this be the day I try to give in

To just die and let loose of myself

To surrender and to end the grieve

To prove to the world that I’m not just a myth